Thanks to Shams, Sneha, Vicky and Sumit for contributing jokes to our humor segment. I am sure everyone will have a good laugh this week. If anyone wants to contribute jokes or article, please feel free to send it to sansuiboogiewoogie@gmail.com. Please enjoy and Have a wonderful day!
Man to God: How much is 1000 million $ for you?
God: A Coin.
Man: How much is 1000 years for you?
God: A second.
Man: Can you give me a coin?
God: Wait a second.
A guy was known among his friends to be very brief and to the point - he really never said too much.
One day, a saleswoman promoting a certain brand of brushes knocked his door and asked to see his wife, so the guy told her that she wasn’t home. "Well," the woman said, "Could I please wait for her?"
The man directed her to the drawing room and left her there for more than three hours.
After feeling really worried, she called out for him and asked, "May I ask where your wife is?"
"She went to the cemetery," he replied.
"And when is she coming back?"
"I don’t really know," he said. "She’s been there eleven years now."
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, ‘What are the grounds for your divorce?’ She replied, ‘About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.’ ‘No,’ he said, ‘I mean what is the foundation of this case?’
‘It is made of concrete, brick and mortar,’ she responded. ‘I mean,’ he continued, ‘What are your relations like?’
‘I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband’s parents.’
He said, ‘Do you have a real grudge?’
‘No,’ she replied, ‘We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one.’
‘Please,’ he tried again, ‘is there any infidelity in your marriage?’
‘Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don’t necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes.’
‘Ma’am, does your husband ever beat you up?’
‘Yes,’ she responded, ‘about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do.’
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, ‘Lady, why do you want a divorce?’
‘Oh, I don’t want a divorce,’ she replied. ‘I’ve never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can’t communicate with me!!’
Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Caller: I’m Sum Wan .And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It’s urgent.
Operator: I know u are someone and u want to talk to anyone! But what’s this urgent matter about?
Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother, Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital from the accident that isn’t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I’m Saw Lee.
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!
Posts
