Recently marriage, or what type of guy or girl would you marry has been a hot topic on Boogie Woogie and so I thought I must also put in my two cents here since it intrigued enough interest to this discussion board.
When anytime a question is popped up asking what type of person would 
you marry, people lot of times comes in with answers that will satisfy their own personal souls – something like “someone who would understand ME, someone who would take care of ME, someone who would care for MY family and other MY stuff”. It’s always about me, I and myself and maybe that’s why the perfect partner syndrome still hangs in thin air even after they get settled with not so perfect partners. But the above scenario takes place only in discussions. When it comes to reality only looks matter for people. 9 out of 10 times, people only fall for looks, or in India in arrange marriages, money matters!! Let’s start from the very beginning and speak about rights first.
Should a girl or a boy be given rights to choose their own partner? I think definitely “Yes” but provided they think with their head and are not too immature. I strongly feel that marriage is not for immature people, it requires certain degree of maturity in 
behavior and actions. It definitely should not be performed at too young age. Period!! But then puppy love happens in teens so if such an scenario happens then you can only pray for the couple to turn out to be good – you can’t do anything else. But one thing that parents can do is make their upbringing really strong right from the beginning. Brainwash their kids from the start saying puppy love is bad or even getting into any relationships is bad at young age. Speak about why it is bad and what can be the consequences if one enters. Be open to your kids, speak to them like friends. I know my mother did and maybe because of her speaking, I never dared to take a wrong decision in my teenage. Put enough confidence and give them enough freedom but never take an eye off them. Encouraging and setting a good example helps in not taking any wrong decisions at wrong age. But in case they are at right age and have someone in mind, then I feel parents must give them the right to choose their partner after all they are going to spent their rest of their lives with the person and the family. The credit or vice versa would entirely be their own. But let’s look at people’s selection of a girl or a boy!!
I have observed so many friends and families who choose a spouse either for themselves or for their family member. The first thing that makes them say yes or no is LOOKS!!! He or She looks pretty or good looking, its a perfect match made in heaven! Really?? Is that what makes a marriage successful?? Think again people!! 
Families look at families if they belong to so and so status and are educated and financially well then it is automatically assumed the member coming out from such a family is great add on as a new member. Really?? Hmm interesting perspective!! Another question I have - Why is it that people often look out for a girl who is almost half the age of a guy but for a girl a younger guy is “No Cant Do” scene?? When last time I asked this question, someone told me they do this for kids. So bearing kids is enough for a successful marriage? What about compatibility? Okay let’s ignore and move forward. Let’s see what you think of age. And if someone thinks age does not matter think again. In my eye, a guy in his late 30’s getting married to a 18 year old is no match from any angle. The maturity level and the thinking power would clash everyday. I think the guy is too old to keep up with the girls aspirations and has a bigger chance of having fights over silly reasons due to expectations not being met. Maybe the initial two years would be happy because the girl is not settled enough to speak her mind. LOL! Anyway do you think if you meet someone in a party and the person is smiling and speaking sweet, is enough to judge the person? I think everybody puts in their best shoe forward. We all do, we all present our best side first and eventually we bring our true selves out and then that is when the problem starts 
So no matter how much time you take in knowing the person, the fact is that the true colors will be seen only once you get into the sacred relationships, after you tie the knot! It’s after all two individuals with two different minds so there is bound to be difference in thinking and behaviorism but the successful marriage is the one that deals with any given situation with patience and with keeping family interest in mind.
My mom always says, marriage is an institution, you learn things about one another throughout your life. It is like a car where the two tyres are for husband and two for wife. The journey becomes 
difficult without the complete set of tyres. Some time ago when I was in sales, I was talking to a couple who were my customers. The couple were in their 70’s and were married for almost more then 40 years. When we were speaking, the wife said something on which the husband promptly said, “I have been married to you for more then 40 years and I didn’t know this about you till date!!” so you see the point in brining this scenario is to say that how much ever time we take in knowing a person, it is not going to be enough to know them in full. Human mind is such that a life time is not enough maybe that’s why in Hinduism they talk about 7 Janams!
Anyways I definitely think marriage is not about mere physical attraction nor I think the couple that displays public affection is the happiest. I think when a person gets married, its not just an individual affair but bonding of two families together. It is a marriage of families. It requires maturity, 
patience and good morals. It requires great family bonding and a faith and trust that no matter what happens tomorrow, family stays together!! People talk about neutral families? I think that is utter crap! A happy family is one which has its elders living and blessing them happily. A happy family is one where kids grow knowing their relatives and loving them. A successful marriage is one that knows there is no breaking or parting till death do them part. And so I think the criteria when one looks for marriage what type of spouse they would get married to should be one who loves their family, believes in family bonding, has certain degree of maturity, patience and definitely jovial. Sense of humor makes tougher times go easy so definitely yes a happy person. Nobody wants to hang around with less patience or short tempered person. But marriage is also about seriousness, compromises, sacrifices, so one should also be ready for it. If you are going in for marriage, go with the open mind and heart, don’t hang on to your stuff too tightly because it may happen that you may have to give up your personal stuff to make marriage work but family? NO!! You should never give up on your family!!
To sum up, Marriage is not just about bearing kids or taking the family forward but it is also about compatibility. It is about companionship in our old age. In young age, we really do not need anyone but in our old age, our married partner 
would be our best friend. It is about growing old together and it is about spending quality time without getting into nasty arguments. It is about adapting in each other’s happiness. It is about love and it is about raising beautiful family with morals keeping the entire family unity together. Marriage is also about caring about relatives, far and near and showering love on them. It is also being part in all their bad times and good times. My mom says, “Kissi ki khushi mein aap bhale hi shaamil na ho, dukh mein zaroor shaamil hona chahiye” so marriage is also in letting your relatives know, no matter what, you and your partner will always be with them. And lastly, Marriage is definitely about believing in God and carrying the faith forward by spreading the goodness around!
Love at first sight is easy to understand; it’s when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle!
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